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The Burning QuestionSince you have to have your blinds closed and windows locked after dark, does this mean that all snipers only have night-vision sights on their guns? And what about the Three-story Man? How does that work, anyway? Also, we've noticed that the bathrooms have fire sprinklers in them, and showers as well. Couldn't we have used that money to put phone jacks in every room? If you want something done right...OSSM Underground Staffers; Mr. X, Editor-in-Chief reportingIt's been more than two months since the last issue of the OSSM Underground, everyone's favorite student newspaper hit the presses. This is a "Special Edition," since it's published on a Thursday. As you may have already noticed, OSSM Underground is published on a rigorous "whenever the staff gets around to it schedule," but always on a Wednesday. But not this time. The material in today's issue is new enough to warrant a special, non-scheduled publication. You can rest assured that the OSSM Underground staffers and I have been hard at work collecting our best material for Issue 6, The One Year Anniversary Issue. Look for it on Thursday, February 24. Until then... From the Dean of StudentsVia mass email to student and staff groupInternet telephones, they would NOT be approved items. [sic] Though not specifically mentioned in the handbook, internet [sic] telephones act like telephones, function like telephones, and accordingly the meet the criteria for prohibited items. Loss of all or part of computing/network privileges and perhaps other disciplinary action may result if you operate an internet [sic] telephony program on school computers on personal computers connected to the school network. Coordinated with Prof. Dillard. RRR (the operative R in this case is restraint) Dearest Professor Gleason,Submission by Mr. Tambourine Man & Mr. Pink PantherAre you working for Southwestern Bell now? Or maybe MCI? It seems that students are so appalled at this ruling that you could hear a pin drop in the Great Hall. Telephone calls cost money. Even if you don't need to call long-distance, the quarters and dimes start adding up. Internet calls are free. If you are going to forbid our use of a free service, you ought to be paying for our telephone calls. Also, there are only two phones on each floor. There are often a few students who monopolize them. People spend time and energy trying to just get on the phones at all rather than studying. Forbidding us to use internet telephone calls sounds more or less as ridiculous as forbidding us to watch Nick at Nite and we believe that both of them are motivated by the innate desire to irk the student body. As are the no crock pots rule, no ordering out rule, no walking to Java Dave's off-campus rule, etc. In each case you can quickly cite a reason for the rule (fire-hazard, strangers on campus, dangerous neighborhood), but we can just as quickly cite an instance where the reason was ignored (curling irons, the gate doesn't lock anyway, students are allowed to walk to mentorships). In addition, how, practically, can you enforce this? We see two methods. One, physically search every computer's hard drive for traces of the offending programs. While you're at it, you can look for porn, MP3s, and Excel lab charts with falsified data. Or two, you can monitor all network activity, all the time. Except for the fact that our computer admins are pretty much busy all the time, this one might work. The trouble is, where does it end? When do you come search my computer for IM, which is essentially the same thing? Or, (gasp) stamps, which as we all know can be used to send letters written during study time? So we would ask you to please start doing something constructive rather than coming up with new rules and transparent excuses. Remember, everyday is another chance to excel at something besides annoying 130 or so students. Line by LinerEditor's response to the message
"Though not specifically mentioned in the handbook."
"internet [sic] telephones act like telephones, function like telephones, and accordingly the meet the criteria for prohibited items." Anyone foolish enough to use a school computer to place a telephone call shouldn't be allowed to use computers anyway. For those students who do so in the privacy of their own rooms, who are they hurting? We talk to our parents using this technology, for free. Do you think our parents are going to be very happy when they hear about this? And isn't that what really matters in the end? We students can complain and reason all we want, but until parents step in, the administration won't see the way of common sense on this issue. Time fliesCompilation Staff ArticleIt seems as though the dormitory has been drifting away from the Gleason Standard Time (GST) cherished long ago. It has been dorm policy for quite some time now that the official dormitory time is synchronized with the time provided by the United States Naval Observatory, the official time for all federal and state agencies. This time can be obtained through many sources: the Weather Channel on cable reports that time, as does OKC Time and Temperature (405-599-1234, but don't you dare use your computer to place the call), the United States Naval Observatory Website, short-wave radio, and any number of other sources. If all else fails, ask Professor Gleason to show you his watch. But it seems like dorm staff can't get it right lately. If you came by the dormitory around 4:00 today, you would have seen a flock of juniors standing outside the dorm doors, waiting to be let in. 4:00 came, and 4:00 went, but the front doors were not opened. Protests started coming from the crowd, and some of them started making their way in, only to be turned back outside with "Go back outside, it's not 4:00 yet." It was not until 4:02 and 30 seconds GST when they were let in. This instance inconvenienced a large group of students, but other time-related instances have actually infringed upon student's civil liberties to possess personal property. Sounds surprising, but it's true. Chris Shrock and Punit Gandhi were minding their own business enjoying a Pink Floyd music video last night in the Great Hall at 10:25 until an unidentified dorm staffer again confused about the time interrupted their wholesome fun. They were told to turn off the video, that it was time to go upstairs. Chris protested, that it was 10:25, and they still had 5 minutes to finish the tape. (Official dorm policy posted on the bulletin board in the Great Hall clearly states that "The Great Hall will close 30 minutes before lights out", hence at 10:30 on school nights.) The dorm staffer then proceeded to confiscate the tape, Punit's personal property, and sent the dynamic duo upstairs. As of press time, no plans have been announced as to when the video will be returned. This action was a heinous violation of American principles of freedom and justice… well, maybe not. But it is just another example of the petty foolishness and injustice that students have to put up with from dorm staffers who just can't tell time. OSSM Underground is Copyright 1999, 2000 by OSSM Underground Press; Oklahoma City, OK 73104-2811. All rights reserved. Send all submissions to submit@ossmup.org or check our submisssions page for a more spesific address. Visit us online at http://www.ossmup.org. [ Previous Issue ] | Voulume II, Issue 5 | [ Next issue ] |
