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[ Previous Issue ] | Voulume II, Issue 2 | [ Next issue ]
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The Burning QuestionThis is "Write your own burning question" week. What's burning you? Write about it and let us know, just maybe we can do something about it. You'll never know if you don't try. Beware of the Three-story manStudent ContributorThe three-story man has been sighted once again on the campus of OSSM. He peers into the windows of students, just for fun. The perimeter fence is no match for this menace to student life. The OSSM administration, in its eternal quest for student well-being and safety, has taken measures to protect the student body from this travesty. The first step in their battle plan against this beast is to mandate that all students close their blinds after dark. This prevents the three-story man from seeing into the rooms of the students, and also keeps the students from ever seeing the three-story man. Some skeptical students speculate that the three-story man doesn't exist at all. If he did, wouldn't some students have found evidence of his existence by now? Other students fear that the three-story man is all too real, and the blinds rule is a cover-up for the bigger problem of getting rid of the three-story man. Some have reported sightings, but no positive photo evidence has come forward to date. The campus perimeter fence poses no hazard to the three-story man; being three stories tall, he can get over the fence just as easily Dr. Liu in hot pursuit of two young vandals. Plans to address this problem include constructing an opaque dome around the campus to completely shelter students from any remote threat of the all-too-dangerous outside world. Dormitory basement: just who do we blame?Student ContributorThe dormitory basement has been closed for more than two weeks now. Here at OSSM Underground over the year or so of our operation we've developed a reputation of blaming the administration for many of our problems. However, now is not the time for that. The reason the basement is closed is because of the students. That's right, it's our fault. Do you think the dorm staff wants to keep the basement closed? No, they don't want to, they have to. If we don't have enough maturity in the student body to find out who caused this, then we shouldn't be allowed into the basement. There's an old saying that at OSSM, there are no secrets. Someone reading this paper knows who's to blame. Someone is holding this paper in their hands who could end all this madness. Turn yourself in, please, for your own good and the good of the student body. Submit!This paper is written entirely from reader submission. Students, parents, staff, alumni, one and all send comments about the paper, but lately printable submissions have been few and far between. Send that material to OSSMUnderrground@hotmail.com or we might have to resort to publishing back issues. OSSM Underground is Copyright 1999, 2000 by OSSM Underground Press; Oklahoma City, OK 73104-2811. All rights reserved. Send all submissions to submit@ossmup.org or check our submisssions page for a more spesific address. Visit us online at http://www.ossmup.org. [ Previous Issue ] | Voulume II, Issue 2 | [ Next issue ] |
